Micromanaging has been cancelled

Lately, the same message keeps revealing itself to me in various ways: let go of the outcome.

It was a dreary Tuesday afternoon and I found myself indulging in a social media vortex. It’s raining outside and I deserve a treat, I thought to myself…

Since I’m currently on hiatus from Instagram, my doom scrolls take place on YouTube. Somewhere between videos of botched plastic surgery and interviews with ketamine addicts, I stumbled across a compilation of Jim Carey moments. In this work of art, a series of Jim’s most famous quotes had been terribly photoshopped against photos of his awkward noggin’. But one had me absolutely rattled.

Later that week, my boyfriend propositioned me with a game. We set a timer, and each read 30 minutes of our book, then took turns summarising what we’d read in just 3 minutes. (A potential ploy of his to train me in getting to the point faster, but we’ll never know…)

The real challenge was to explain the just-read passage in a way that was valuable and meaningful to the other person, who obviously had no context of the book. I had resigned myself to Brad approaching the game in his usual pot-stirring ways, but instead, he offered me something deeply thoughtful and profound.

He had been reading a book about the creation of artificial intelligence. The book explained that AI wasn’t discovered by a group of virgin nerds having a sleepover (my words, to be fair) and strategising a plan to give computers consciousness. It emerged through thinkers in fields like computer science, mathematics, and cognition letting their curiosity guide them to explore machine learning, with relatively few specific goals.

In his 3 minute spiel, he related this to me with gentle consideration for the insecurities I’d been sharing about putting my own creations into the world. His message was simple: keep exploring and sharing what interests you, and trust that you’ll stumble across magic, eventually.

A few days later, I finally had a chance to catch up on my unread newsletter subscriptions. One of my favourites is a digest called Concious Creator by my friend Elijah. In this particular email, Eli mused about staying focused on the why, rather than the what when building your business. The kind of wisdom I need as I type this newsletter from my childhood bedroom.

He posited that focusing solely on questions like ‘What product should I build?’ or ‘What content should I create?’ would eventually lead to burnout if there is no overarching exploration of the greater purpose at play.

In other words, don’t obsess over the details of how everything unfolds and instead just try stuff in the direction of your mission and keep iterating.

The theme is clear, right? Ironically, when I was working as a sexologist and fielding complaints from women who couldn’t reach orgasm, I would give them similar advice. Focus on relaxation, not climax. Be process-oriented. Trust that you partner will get you there once the pressure is off you both.

The reason I studied sexuality is because sex not only creates life, but your relationship to it becomes the metaphor for your life. If this is something you’d like me to write more about, click here.

Embracing uncertainty is a tough pill for all of us to swallow. Even the most well adjusted people I know, and look up to, have their days of wanting to micromanage and precisely plot out their pathway to greatness.

But what I’ve decided to take from this mysterious reoccurring mantra in my own life is this: my desires and curiosities are not random. They have been planted within me for a reason, and it’s my responsibility to follow them. Just as it’s my responsibility to do the inner work required to trust they will lead me in the right direction.

On that note, I am about to release a seven day series of audio rituals that will also help you loosen your grip on control. I’ll be guiding you on how to tap into your own curiosity, cultivate deeper self awareness, and become more fluid in both your thinking and being. The world will be a better place once we’re all trusting the path of your own passions.

That’s all from me for now,

Paige xo.

P.S. If you think there is someone who might relate to my stories, send ‘em this link to subscribe 💟 https://paigeleacey.beehiiv.com/subscribe

P.P.S. Big tune from the week: Hidden Beyond The Trees to A Thousand Faces, Mick Schultz, KAMAUU